Thankful for Kale

Bacon, it's often cited as the food new vegetarians miss the most. Having been mostly vegetarian for close to thirty years, bacon has pretty much fallen off the face of the earth in my mind. It wasn't something I particularly missed. There are so many ways to obtain a nice smoky flavour, that bacon rarely factored in my cravings. Smoked salt, smoked paprika, chipotle and liquid smoke are some of the easily accessible ways to add a hint of smoky goodness without having to reach for bacon. Over the years, I've also learned how to hot smoke foods, but it isn't something I am really inclined to do at home, preferring to reserve the acrid smoke for professional kitchens with industrial exhaust hoods.



There are also all manners of vegetarian alternatives to smoked pork products available these days, so there is really no need to suffer a craving. Though I am not really partial to ready-made vegetarian meat alternatives, I would be lying if I said never bought any: I do occasionally grab a pack of veggie burgers or, as above, some smoked tempeh. My main objection to these products is mainly the over-packaging, but also all the weird ingredients that seem to make their way into them. However, my favourite facon, smoked coconut bacon, is pretty straight forward: it has the best crisp texture, and makes a mean BLT. It turns out that the same marinade can be used to turn firm tofu or tempeh into pseudo bacon.



Of course, vegetarian bacon alternative are not exact duplicates of the real thing. Though one can fry tofu and tempeh to a crisp, or bake coconut until crackly, none of these options will ever render out the glorious cooking fat that is bacon fat. Health concerns aside, the beauty of saturated fats is the lovely mouth-feel it gives to green vegetables: the gritty, teeth squeaky sensation that spinach leaves in your mouth? Sauté in a generous spoonful of butter, and it all but disappears. Bitter dandelion greens and radicchio turn you off? Toss into hot bacon fat, and that bitter edge turns into a purr. Vegetarians have two viable options when it comes to saturated fats: butter or coconut oil. Palm oil -whether from the kernel or the fruit- is not a good option: firstly, rainforest-friendly palm oil is very difficult to source; secondly, palm oil tends to be a vibrant red colour that permeates the food; and third, it is a particularly waxy fat, leaving an oily feeling in the mouth.



Why the sudden concern for bacon fat, you may ask? Canadian Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and while many families have their menu all figured out, some may be looking for new ideas. Bacon and greens are a side dish I strongly associate with the holidays, and I've pretty much spent the past twenty years trying to find the ideal vegetarian alternative. Tuscan kale and beans (more on that in another post) has become my go-to, but I have to admit I kind of miss the meaty bits of bacon in my Brussels sprouts.



The following recipe almost doesn't need to be written out, and there is leeway for any bacon alternative you may choose to use: if you opt for coconut bacon, stir in a large handful at the very end so that it remains crisp. These greens are great as supporting acts, but can easily be turned into the stars of the show by piling them high on buttered slabs of toast or mixing with a grain of your choice.



Smoky Greens
Serves 6 as a side dish

2 bunches kale or 1.5kg/ ~3lbs Brussels sprouts
4 large cloves garlic
200g/ 7oz smoked or marinated firm tofu or tempeh, or other bacon alternative
3 Tbs olive oil
3 Tbs butter or coconut oil
salt (use smoked salt if available) and pepper

Strip kale from the stalks, and chop into bite sized pieces. If using Brussels sprouts, trim the bottom of each sprout, and chop into quarter. Give the greens a good rinse, and allow to drain until needed.
Slice tofu or tempeh into 5mm/ ¼" slabs, if necessary. 
Remove the root end of the garlic cloves, smash and peel. Coarsely chop.
Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan until nearly smoking, gently lower the tofu into the pan, and allow to brown, about 2 minutes on each side.
Once the facon is nicely browned, add garlic to the pan, stir fry for a minute, breaking up the tofu/tempeh into smaller pieces.
Add butter/coconut oil to the pan, and allow to melt completely before throwing in the greens by the handful, stirring until wilted before adding the next handful.
Once all the greens are in the pan, add a splash of water to the pan, cover with a lid, and allow to steam for 5 minutes.
Carefully remove the lid from the pan, season with salt and pepper. 
Taste, and adjust the seasoning.
Serve immediately.



Marinade for Tofu, Tempeh or Coconut Facon

1 part liquid smoke, or smoked paprika with enough water to make a slurry, or adobo from a can of chipotle
1 part maple syrup
2 part soy sauce or tamari

Mix together and marinate slice tofu or tempeh overnight.
Alternatively, toss into coconut flakes until lightly coated, and bake until dry and crisp in a 160ºC/ 320ºF oven, about 30 minutes. Stir every 8-10 minutes for even baking.



Bon App'!